The Worst Kept Secrets In the Fitness Industry (Part 3): Hacking the Genetic Code For Fast Metabolism

If you’re reading this and it applies to you, I loathe you. I abhor the fact your genetic code even exists within the genetic pool. You stand for everything that is wrong with the world. You can eat and munch through a goddamn wedding buffet and still look like you’re ready to pose for GQ. I hate you, your friends hate you, but most of all, you hate yourself.

Fast metabolism is a curse in disguise. It may appear a bliss from afar, but more often than not, those with fast metabolism are constantly suffering from a growing need to gain weight via any means necessary; not that their bodies would allow it. Aside from the obvious health issues, it can be a huge blow to one’s self esteem. Those with fast metabolism, although despised by those around them, want nothing more than to stop looking like famine-stricken Somali children.

So let’s get right to it, how do you bypass your genetic mutation and hack your body into gaining weight (quickly) but in a healthy manner that doesn’t have you doubling down on Big Tasty combos. The secret word for you boys and girls is liquid calories.

While most people dismiss beverages as mere fillers between real meals and snacks, beverages are actually far more responsible for adding inches to most people's’ waistlines. For some reason our minds don’t consider drinks as having any effect aside from quenching our thirst. Sadly, it couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, numerous studies link increased rates of obesity around the world to the increasing sizes of our cups and our over consumption of elaborate beverages that are packing on more sugar than ever.

Protein Shakes:

Your new best friend, dear skinny reader, ought to be protein shakes. You may think of them as something reserved solely for gym buffs and fitness fanatics but in actuality their blend of macronutrients is arguably more beneficial for those with increased metabolism rates due to the swift and easy absorption rates of such drinks. That, coupled with the fact they contain a healthy balance between proteins, carbohydrates and fats among other things makes them liquid-y equivalents of proper meals (not that you should ever completely substitute them for real food!) It’s very important to always remember and consider that your protein shake is a supplement, not a replacement.

Protein shakes’ main elements is most commonly whey protein which is noted for fast absorption rates by the body and there are numerous variations. Your best bet and it is arguably one of the best brands out there is Optimum Nutrition’s Gold Standard. You can get it from the random supplement stores scattered around Cairo but I’d be very wary of them due to recent reports of them mixing the ingredients with other powders in order to cut down costs due to increased taxation on the import of such materials. Your safest bet is to get it from one of two pharmacies in Cairo. The Shenawy pharmacy (the one right next to the Cairo Jazz Club) carries the brand in addition to several others and they are available in different flavors (chocolate, vanilla, peanut butter, etc.) Another place to get it from the Seif Pharmacies chain who usually have dedicated sections for these types of supplements.

The cool thing about this brand over others is the mixability - as in it mixes quite easily with water or milk via simply stirring - but you can always spruce it up and add more good calories to the mix by throwing in a banana, a pack of yogurt and a spoon of honey to taste.

For those with particularly heightened metabolism, you may want to look into buying the Pro Complex Gainer instead of regular old whey. It’s a specialty blended formula which packs almost 700 calories per scoop (not taking into account anything else you may add into the blender) and provides a decent balance of macronutrients.

Hoba Egyptian Style:

This is my own personal favorite way of packing on “healthy” weight and has been tried and tested by yours truly during my own faster metabolism past. Try out the following recipe (you can always add your own twist) and let me know what you think!

Ingredients:

• 6-9 pieces of large black dates (with skin)
• 2 medium sized bananas
• 1 large kiwi (with skin)
• 1 pack of Juhayna Rayeb OR 300 ml of milk
• One tablespoon of honey
• One tablespoon peanut butter (any other nut butter will do)
• One tablespoon flaxseed (linseed) or Chia seeds (if available)

Process:

• Wash all fruits properly.
• Peel dates laterally and discard seeds
• Quarter the kiwi (keeping the skin!)
• Add all fruits to the blender
• Add honey and peanut butter and seeds
• Add Rayeb or milk
• Blend

Make your blender your new favorite appliance

This mixture is not only calorie packed but needs no sugar (dates are pretty damn sweet on their own) and carries a ton of fiber, antioxidants and complex carbohydrates. Give it a try and let me know. You can have it twice a day, once in the morning and once at night or just once a day. Adjust according to your needs and according to results. You can obviously add other fruits to the mix if you want to make the cocktail all the more exotic. You can adjust the amount of liquid depending on how you like the consistency of your smoothie.

Please remember that smoothies and shakes are no substitute for real meals, you should only consider them as supplements and never as replacements to 4-5 medium sized meals consumed throughout the day with a healthy balance of proteins, carbohydrates and fats coupled with a workout regimen that incorporates weight lifting and sparingly some low impact cardio to develop proper stamina.

Give it a shot and let me know what you think!