The Worst Kept Secrets in the Fitness Industry (Part 1): Cardio

“Oh my God! I totes read this article on OMG Insider that Britney Spears used to do like 4,000 crunches and Nelly used to blast like 1,000 crunches every hour on the hour! Well of course they do! Just look at their toned chocolate-bar style tummies!”

First of all, Britney got fat. Like, way fat. She’s fat with a Ph. And no, I won’t leave her alone.

Second of all, I need to demystify this odd belief regarding abdominals being some sort of magical muscle that can take on this kind of punishment. Do you whip out 4,000 bench presses on chest day? Do you normally find yourself or others in the gym dishing out 1,500 barbell squats? No? Did you never stop and wonder why you usually got between 6-20 repetitions for your other muscles but for some reason forego this type of exercise when it comes to your abs?

Frankly, it isn’t your fault.

Mainstream media is largely to blame for this false belief that the surest route to a six-pack is quadruple digit crunches and situps. After all, those fancy abdominal curl gimmicks you’ll find on the shopping channel had to have a sponsor. But before we delve into what is largely accepted by the mainstream fitness community as the #1 exercise for helping your abs get popping, let’s try and explain how the concept of a six-pack even works.

It’s about a simple muscle/body fat balance. And this first part of our “Worst Kept Fitness Industry Secrets” series will tackle the concept of cardiovascular training.

In the most basic terms, if you have too much body fat, you will not be able to see your abs. It’s that simple. You could have a glorified eight-pack brewing under that layer of blubber but you’d be shit out of luck to see it during your next beach visit if your body fat % exceeds a certain amount. What does that mean oh wise one? Cardio. Specifically, a decent mix between HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) and LISS (Low Intensity Steady State) cardio.

What the fuck are you talking about? What do these acronyms mean? Why is there nacho dipping sauce in my navel? You ask, sweating while grasping your computer screen in doubt of life, yourself and everything you once held dear. Let me explain.

HIIT

HIIT labors under a fairly simple premise; intervals. After a nice 5-minute warm up brisk walk to get your muscles ready for what’s to come, alternate walking/sprinting speeds in set periods of time. Example: Sprint for 30-60 seconds followed by 2 minutes of brisk walking/jogging and repeat these intervals for 15-20 minutes followed by 5 minutes of brisk walking for cool down. You can apply that same basic premise to virtually any cardio activity, be it running, cycling, swimming, rowing the EFX machine, the treadmill, stairmaster or otherwise.

HIIT has the benefit of triggering a hormonal response which sheds body fat as well as adds on muscle. It’s preferable not to perform HIIT exercises more than three times a week (and always AFTER your weight lifting routine) with rest days in between as it has an impact on your muscles. You should avoid performing HIIT workouts on an empty stomach as it depletes your carbohydrates stores rather quickly.

LISS

LISS on the other hand labors under an even simpler premise; steadiness. Basically, to get a specific rate going and hold on to it for prolonged periods of time. Example: Perform 5-minutes of brisk walking to get your muscles warmed up and ready for what’s to come. Then, finding a suitable jogging speed (usually between 6-9 km/hr for most people) maintain this for a period of 30-45 minutes followed by 5 minutes of brisk walking for cool down.

My personal experience with LISS worked out best when doing it first thing in the morning before breakfast. All I would have was one mug of unsweetened dark coffee (no milk) or a single caffeine pill in order to add the benefits of metabolism-boosting caffeine to my run. You can also take a single serving of BCAAs before your run if you want to ensure no muscle loss. You should have a hearty breakfast following that long run!

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. What does that mean in the real world? When can we eat?” Calm your titties. Remember when I said you should have a combo of both HIIT and LISS in your workout routine? That wasn’t out of thin air, performing one or the other alone will result in you more or less adopting the morphology of either a sprinter or a marathoner.

“Well DUH I want to be a sprinter just look how healthy she looks in comparison to that marathon runner!” You say, ecstatic at this revelation and giggling to yourself about all those fools on the treadmills like hamsters on wheels doing nothing but LISS and heading towards a bleak future. 

Not so fast. While yes, sprinters have more muscles and appear to be “healthier” there are many benefits to LISS that HIIT cannot match; namely stamina. Marathoners are infamous for their amazing stamina and endurance while sprinters are renowned for their short-burst high-intensity performances. This is why I implore you to incorporate a combo of both techniques when it comes to cardio so that you can get both benefits and help your body adapt to both conditions.

Now get that ass moving.