Carbs are NOT the Enemy: Learn to Pick Your Friends

Quick show of hands (it’s a popular gimmick on this blog to ask for this you may have noticed) who here once went on a “No Carbs” diet? You? The lady in the back hugging a box of croissants? Sir, with the bread crumbs on his lips? Anyone else? Dandy.

We’ve all been there. At some point in time we stumbled across some TV report or online article that basically told us carbohydrates were the spawn of Satan and the reason why this world is the big clusterfuck it is today. It’s those motherfuckin’ carbs, man! You were sick of it, sick of how everything in your life was hindered by the presence of those delicious yet fattening bad boys. So you quit. You quit hard. You went cold turkey on their ass.

And you, more than likely; crashed.

There are many flawed reports and skewed infomercials you may have come across that promoted some new fad diet (think Atkins, Jenny Craig, etc.) which had you omitting entire food groups from your nutrition plan. All of those things are fucking ridiculous. The human body has evolved over the past few million years to consume proteins, carbohydrates and fats - all of which are basic building blocks to sustain life and provide energy in the feeble human body. It’s biology 101 really.

Carbohydrates are the body’s #1 source for quick energy as they are the fastest and easiest to breakdown for energy unlike fats or proteins which require more time and expended energy to breakdown into usable energy. That being said, not all carbs are created equal, there is such a thing as a “good” source of carbs and a “bad” one. The difference my dear readers, is in the hormonal effect it triggers.

It’s important to note that not everyone responds to carbs in the same manner. Some people’s bodies are very adept at utilizing carbs for energy efficiently while others aren’t so lucky, but believe it or not that may have more to do with the kind of carb they’re ingesting.

There are two main types of carbohydrates, simple and complex.

Simple carbs trigger a spike in your insulin hormone, which is the main hormone responsible for regulating fat storage in the body. Get your insulin levels peaking beyond a certain point, and BAM, all those lovely carbs you’re gorging on were just instructed by your body to be transformed into fat for storage.

Those bad boys are the reason you need new pants on a regular basis

Most people would assume that consuming simple carbs before your workout would be a smart thing to do since it delivers energy much faster and therefore can contribute to your energy during your workout. But that’s why you don’t carry medical degrees. If anything, simple carbs adhere to the very basic rule of “What rises must fall back down”. Simple carbs often lead to your body crashing after getting a literal “sugar high”.

Simple carbs are the ones you typically find in foods that are processed or refined such as sodas (soft drinks), white flour, corn/sugar syrups, processed candy of all kinds, and even fruit juice! Now that doesn’t mean you should avoid fruit, it just means you should eat it rather than drink it as blending fruits into juice crushes a lot of the fiber content which can help make the digestion of the fruit in question slower.

Complex carbs on the other hand do not cause a spike in the insulin as their energy content is slowly and gradually released rather than flushed at once like simple carbs. This means that complex carbs promote a stable level of insulin production which keeps it under control and doesn’t make your body go apeshit and have it trying to save fat in storage like it’s back in fashion.

Complex carbs on the other hand are excellent pre-workout food choices due to their ability to deliver energy in a sustainable manner throughout your workout and not leading to a spike in insulin and in so, avoiding the crash!

Complex carbs are formed of more natural and less processed types of foods which can include whole wheat/grains products, oatmeal, legumes, sweet potato (starchy foods), a wide variety of vegetables, raw nuts and so on.

I think you may be seeing a pattern here already in regards to what constitutes as simple and what constitutes as complex, that being how natural Vs. how processed it is. Fruits as the good Lord created them are natural, they do have some simple sugars but their fiber content prevents them from contributing to spiked insulin, fruit juices on the other hand (and let’s not get at the four tablespoons of white sugar you’re throwing into the blender along with them) have moved on from being natural into the realm of processed.

Many people think their options are limited when it comes to eating “healthy” but that could not be further from the truth. It’s about reading up on information, a little bit of research and making smarter choices.

What constitutes as complex carbs on my weekly diet?

• Sweet potato
• Rye bread (from TBS)
• Almonds
• Fava beans
• Oatmeal flakes
• Potato
• Mixed vegetables

If I were you I’d avoid the multi-grain/whole-grain Rich bake bread variety we have littered in our grocery stores, it’s more likely than not it’s just plain old white bread that’s been blended with a natural brown dye to give it the appearance of a healthier bread. It certainly doesn’t taste anything like any “real” whole wheat/grain breads I’ve had abroad or from select sources in Egypt. Although more on the pricey side, TBS and Paul are quite decent sources of whole grain loaves of bread and if you dice it up the right way you can easily go on with one loaf for an entire week.

I don’t even need to tell you that the last bullet point literally holds hundreds of options underneath its wings, so don’t come at me with that “Ugh I don’t know what to eat I’m eating the same stuff everyday I’m so sick of it!” bullshit. You’re not trying to diversify your menu son, and that’s your fault and your fault alone.

P.S. Just a passing thought. Anything, and I do mean anything, when consumed in excess will make you gain weight. It’s about being smart with your meal portions, sizes and frequencies and balancing your carbs with your proteins and fats to give your body what it really needs.

I guess that sums up today’s post. Remember, it’s about choices and it’s about how you use the right foods to help us reach our goals.